Saggy Shaggin'
by hornytwilighters
Summary: Two Friends decide to have some fun... SaSsY ChIcObOoBs


_A/N: I'd like to thank all the Lexiconers for making this possible -cries- LOL just kidding! Anyways, i really like to thank the Lexiconers because they gave me all the adjectives i could think of ;) Kabol has such a ...WIDE range of vocabulary and really, most of these words are his...Thanks Alice for BETAing and Taxi for letting me post it on this wonderful account_

_Disclaimer: I don't own it_

_**Warning: You have entered the land of the Lexiconers...be careful...**_

I was next to the lake, taking a walk. Well, if you call walking wheeling around in your wheelchair a walk, then yes, I was taking a walk. It was a beautiful night. The sun was setting right on top of the water. The sky had an array of mottled colors. Pink and orange were nearest to the sun, making the sky have its own rainbow.

I wheeled closer to the edge of the dock, the wood creaking under my weight. I leaned forward to look at the water below. My mind was on one thing: shagging Charlie. He was my love, and the only one I had eyes for. He was so beautiful and majestic. His almost bald head shined gorgeously in the sun.

I sighed, thinking about my love. Would he ever return the love I had for him? He seemed to be so focused at work.

"That is why you love him, you old dawg." A little voice in my head said. I shook my head to expel the hamster voice.

"When will you go away?" I whispered. Suddenly, I felt the wheels of my chair start to lurch forward. I put my arms out, trying to regain my balance, but it was too late. I fell into the water with a huge splash. My chair fell from beneath me as I used my arms to come to the surface. I spit out water, and looked around.

"Help!" I yelled, but no one answered. I started moving my arms, making circles in the air.

"Aliens, come down and help your beloved." I said in a chanting tone. They have to hear me; they owe me for the one time I gave them that wonder tonic from the cows. I laughed in spite of the situation. They still thought cows were hotter than my mother.

I used my arms to swim over to the shore since I could see that the aliens weren't coming any time soon. But as I was swimming, I saw a fishing string. It came from behind a tree. I swam up to the tree and peeked onto the other side. I gasped, unable to take my eyes off the beauty in front of me. It was Charlie Swan, the most attractive human being on the planet (and right after him was Carrot Top. Oh, that boy was delicious.) I shook my head, trying to get my mind back on the sexy man in front of me. He was fishing, as usual. I smiled because he looked so frustrated. I just wanted to kiss that right out of him.

I deliberated what I should do. This was my perfect chance, right? I mean, he was alone. I could finally tell him how I feel. I decided to show myself by swimming in front of him.

I unhooked off the tree, and felt something rubbing in my jeans. I looked down through the clear water and saw that I had an erection. Wow, I haven't had one of those in a long time. I pumped my arms to make my body go forward. Suddenly I felt something grab onto my wanker. I was starting to get pulled ashore and I looked down anxiously to see that something had somehow gotten into my pants and grabbed my natural apparatus. I was pulled ashore, and someone pulled my pants and thong off.

"Ahh there you go. Better?" I looked up to see Charlie kneeling over me.

"Yes, so much." I sighed, looking up at the shiny skin on Charlie's forehead.

"Wow, your passion rod is rather shriveled." He noted.

"I have waited so long." I said, suddenly out of breath. I pulled him down, kissing him with all the passion I had built over my whole life.

"Take me." Charlie moaned.

"Oh, don't worry baby, I will." My hamster voice said inside my head.

Charlie pushed down his pants and his elongated manhood rubbed against my inside thigh. I tried to flip him over, but I couldn't since my legs wouldn't move. Charlie could see my trouble and laid on the ground himself, wrapping his legs around my waist. Suddenly, I felt this urge to spit on him. I couldn't stop myself so I spit at him, making a rawring noise.

"Ahh that is sexy." Charlie said. I arched my back, making myself look like I had a hump. For some reason, I felt like a camel. Suddenly, I remembered why I was doing this. Back when I used to have sex with my wife, I used to act like a camel in bed.

I spit again, making Charlie giggle like a little kid. Suddenly, he changed his mood, pounding on my lumpy chest.

"What?" I yelled.

"Get in me, now!" He said, pouting.

I looked down, ashamed. As I looked down, I saw Charlie throbbing madly.

"Oh sorry." I whispered and slipped myself into his rectum. He groaned slightly as I felt his cheeks closing down on my old, quivering member. I waited there, pushing a little farther in. The ecstasy of having me in him was washing over me. I pushed in farther, grinding our pelvic bones. I felt Charlie lift up and bite my nipples. He didn't have come up far since my man boobs hung down so far. He sucked on it, nibbling making me shout out in pain. I liked it.

I made another camel noise, making Charlie's genitals twitch. I started to go up and down, humping my love, when I felt something detach itself. I pulled out of Charlie to see that my dick was not there anymore. Instead, there was a small hole, bleeding profusely.

"It's okay…" Charlie said, suddenly sticking his hand up his own butt. I looked at him with loving eyes. This was the best experience ever.

"Hmm." Charlie murmured.

"What?" I asked.

"It isn't in there anymore." He said, taking out his hand.

"Oh no, there it is!" I corrected him. There, in his hand, if you looked close enough, you could see my weeny. But I had to bring my face up really close to see it.

"Was it always that small?" Charlie asked, looking up at me. I was so close to his face now, it was so beautiful.

"No, but with different temperatures, it gets bigger or smaller." I explained.

"Oh." He said, putting it lightly on the ground. We sat there for a moment in silence, looking into each other's eyes. Suddenly, Charlie jumped on me. He plunged in to me. The warm, tingling sensation below my stomach erupted, and I could feel my passage filling up with his thick, warm seed that was spread inside of me. I arched my back in pleasure. I rubbed his back, feeling him explode inside of me.

For some reason, my mind suddenly went to Ron Weasely. Ahh, my other lover. While I was still married, I met this English boy that was a wizard. I, of course, didn't believe him, but that red-haired beauty was the love of my life at the time. He always complemented how my positions were the most original and best.

I remembered the last time we did it…

-flash back-

"Oh come on, Billy!" He protested.

"Ron, no way!" I said, shaking my head.

"But don't you love stripping?" Ron asked, getting down on his knees so he could be level with me.

"Don't look at me like that…" I said, trying to look away from his captivating eyes.

"Come on. I know you want to." Ron pleaded.

After a few minutes of silence, I finally gave in. "Okay, okay! I'll do it. But only if you say abra cadabra."

"Abra cadabra." Ron said quickly, "Happy?"

I nodded and started to wheel over to the kitchen counter, which luckily had a pole going through the middle. Ron lifted my chair and I up to the counter top and turned off the lights. Automatically, a disco ball light came on from somewhere across the room. Ron sat in a chair right by the counter, waiting. I took of my shirt and then my pants, showing my cute boy shorts.

"Oh I love your underwear!" Ron said, smiling widly.

"Just for you." I blew a kiss and then wheeled around the pole once. I then grabbed the pole and lifted myself (still on the wheelchair) and swung around the pole. I shimmied and then licked my lips. Ron seemed to like it…

-end flash back-

"Billy?" Charlie asked, looking at me curiously.

"Oh sorry Charlie." I said, getting up.

I saw that we were in my bed room, my clothes still not on.

"Well do you remember anything?" Charlie asked.

"The last thing I remember is…" I explained Charlie inside of me.

"After that, we came back to your house and Carlisle decided to join us. We had an orgasmic threesome." He explained.

"Oh yummy!" I exclaimed.

"Fried Barney anybody?" Carlisle came through the door, wearing a pink apron and a plate in his hands.

"Me!" Both Charlie and I said in unison. We jumped out of the room and ran into the kitchen.

The End

_A/N: Hoped you liked it!_

_your lover,_

_berry_


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